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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?